your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
