how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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