this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
