so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
you made out with another girl for some wings
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
