my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
