please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
