If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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