C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
