my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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