all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
