She announced her abortion via fbk
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
