I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
