He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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