I don't think brook has ever known best
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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