I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
