bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Ladies don't puke and tell
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
