But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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