I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
