I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
