Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
