If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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