I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
