do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
