she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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