how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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