I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
