This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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