its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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