the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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