I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
