my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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