He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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