I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The ass gains better be worth it
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