So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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