The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
