I'm going to jail i love you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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