so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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