As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
