Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Pants are for mortals
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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