She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Randomize
