i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
