So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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