New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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