Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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