thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
