I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
