Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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