After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
