Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
