How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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