it wasn't lemon gatorade
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
