everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
