My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I have demons in me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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