Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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