Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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