that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
