I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
