I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
