Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
