Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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