Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
