I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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