She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
