Got a toothbrush?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
