Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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