please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
